life is hard

that is all

hilarious

the journey of all journeys

i've spent most of my married life battling something that was wrong with my body but doctors couldn't diagnose. i would just go from doctor to doctor getting blood test after blood test hoping that that one time it would be different, they would find something and i would get better. this was never the case. like most married couples, Matt and i both gained weight after getting married and dealing with our busy lives. the only problem was that when i would actually try to lose weight it never worked. i would exercise like a mad woman running or doing some bouncy workout video and even tried P90X and did it religiously for weeks but nothing ever helped. i'm sure you can understand how depressing that was. so that's how it went for years and years and years. feeling sick with no diagnosis or cure in sight.

fast forward to July 2010...on the 4th of July at a family barbeque i had an allergic reaction where my throat almost closed up and i felt horrible for days. this led me to go to an allergist and have an allergy test done. that's when i found out i'm allergic to the world. not really but they tested me for 71 things and out of those 71 things i was allergic to 43 of them. those 43 included all trees, all grass, almost all weeds, one mold, cat hair, horse hair, dog hair, all melons and avocado. so basically the outside world wants to kill me along with animal hair and melons and the doctor probably just added avocados to the list to make me cry. i loved avocados. in addition to those things they also told me i'm lactose intolerant. again, probably just to make me cry because no one loves ice cream more than me. but i learned what food to avoid and how to live a lactose free existence. it was incredibly hard at first to give up things like ice cream, chocolate, cheese, most breads, milk, yogurt, butter, etc. but i figured it out and now i hardly miss it. the only problem was that even though i found out what i'm allergic to and could now avoid those foods i still felt horrible and like something was still not quite right.

fast forward to present time...i went to the doctor at the beginning of August because i hadn't had my period in over three months and the pregnancy pee stick said no so i was a little on the worried side. also, my sister called me up one day to tell me about PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). her friends had told her about it and i had a lot of the symptoms. so the PCOS worry combined with my total lack of a monthly cycle caused me to make an appointment with my gynocologist. i went, with Matt because he's supportive and knows how much i hate to go to the doctor, and explained all of my symptoms and how we suspect i have PCOS. the doctor was amazing. she went over all of my history and was careful not to leave anything out. she explained to us that PCOS is actually not my problem but she believed i have metabolic syndrome. the symptoms were all what i was experiencing and after some lab work i returned to the doctor and she told me all the lab work came back positive for metabolic syndrome.

for those who have no idea what metabolic syndrome is, meaning if you're like me about a month ago, then here's a little bit about it. metabolic syndrome is also known as insulin resistance, syndrome X, prediabetes and cardiometabolic syndrome. basically the plain and simple way to describe it is my body can't use insulin effectively and insulin is needed to help control sugar in the body so as a result blood sugar levels rise. the doctor described it to me as prediabetes and said if we don't get it taken care of i will end up with type 1 or type 2 diabetes. this also explains why i have gained weight and can't seem to lose it no matter what i try. apparently one of the more lovely symptoms of metabolic syndrome is extra weight around the middle because of the rise in blood sugar. awesome right?

so the treatment the doctor gave me is a pill called metformin. it's usually prescribed to people with type 2 diabetes but doctors have found it's very successful with metabolic syndrome as well. i've been taking it twice a day for a little over a week now and i don't feel any different. it made me very very nauseous the first few days but luckily that's gone away. both the doctor and the pharmacist told me metformin would cause me to lose weight but i'm still waiting for that side effect to grace me with its presence. i'm trying not to get too down about it because it's only been a week so far. i can't expect to be fixed overnight.

now fast forward to this morning...the doctor had sent me to get additional blood work done after the first time i went. she sent me to get a glucose test to be 100% sure i have metabolic syndrome. if you've never had a glucose test before this is how it goes, you go into the lab and have your blood drawn while fasting and then you drink this really sugary drink that at first tastes like orange soda without carbonation but the more you drink it the more disgusting it is and since you have to down the whole bottle in 5 minutes you basically feel like puking afterwards and then you sit at the lab for 2 hours so they can draw your blood every 30 minutes. yeah, it's super fun. well i finally got the call from the doctor this morning telling me how it went. apparently my levels were a little concerning. my test showed actual diabetic levels so combined with the previous blood work i had done my doctor told me i am basically walking that very fine line between diabetes and metabolic syndrome.

some good news...matt found THIS and showed it to me the other day.

it's this amazing story about a woman who went through all the same things i have gone through. all the doctors and the testing and never finding out what truly is wrong with you. she found out she was lactose intolerant and then was misdiagnosed with fibromyalgia but when she went to her yearly gyno visit she was tested for the same things as me and found out that she's insulin resistance (metabolic syndrome). she talks about how she cut out sugar and carbs and was feeling better in a matter of days and now she's lost 40 pounds and is back to her old self again. i just couldn't believe that this woman went through almost the exact same things as i did and actually got through it and felt amazing now. it really has lifted my spirits!

so now i'm trying really hard to give up carbs and sugar so i can have the same success story as that woman. i want to have energy and a good attitude and feel like myself again more than anything and if giving up sugar and carbs is going to help me get there then that's what i need to do. will it be hard? HECK YES! but i'm going to take it one day at a time. if i can make it through the day sugar/carb free then the day was a complete success. if i stumble and eat some i won't beat myself up about it i'll just tell myself that tomorrow is another day and i'll try again. i really wanted to get all this out so that i can start writing every friday about how the week has been for me health wise. that way i can see the changes i'm making and the difference it brings to my life. i already have a really good sugar/carb free habit for breakfast and lunch it's just dinner that i have to worry about now. that shouldn't be too terribly horribly hard. well...yes it will be hard but i'm going to tryyyyy to make it feel like it's a piece of cake. hopefully if i write down how my week went every friday i'll be able to see what's working and what's not and find the perfect balance that i need.

so i'll make this my first weekly report. even though i just found out about all this i haven't been too terrible this week. my meals have stayed pretty sugar/carb free but then i ruin things by having a soda or popcorn. those are my weaknesses. this is just my first week though so i shouldn't be too hard on myself. i even made a special dinner this week with delicious tilapia and set my oven on fire. i'm experimenting with new foods to keep me away from craving my usual go-to carby meals. that's progress already! and so far the last 2 days have been completely sugar/carb free! i can't say i feel better, in fact i feel more exhausted than usual, but i'm holding on. we'll see how the next week goes!

texting richard

so last night i got a text message from a person i do not know.

usually i really hate this because it makes me feel bad that i don't have someone's number in my phone that i'm supposed to and then they're going to be mad at me for not having them in my phone and yadda yadda blah blah.

but this time...this time was different.

the person wrote their name in the first text so i knew for sure i didn't know them and because i'm a mean person deep down inside i decided to play around with them for a little while.

and matt helped because he's equally a mean person deep down inside.

here is our entire conversation.

(asterisks will replace last names so i don't give away any information that i shouldn't)

richard: hey it's richard ****, could you text me when the 4th quarter starts please?

me: no

richard: haha thanks

me: i will if you ask really nicely

richard: jose, will you please please please tell me when the fourth quarter starts, with a cherry on top? i'll give you a high five if you do

me: a high five? that's it?

richard: hows about a hug?

me: little more

richard: i'm scared

me: dont be scared darling

richard: haha isn't that what your girlfriend is for?

me: no that's what i use your girlfriend for

richard: i dont have one anymore remember?

me: did you ever think that maybe that's why?

richard: gasp!

me: i've been trying to find a good time to bring that up. sorry man.

richard: it's okay she's an acceptable loss

(so right now matt and i are thinking what kind of a guy doesn't care that i just told him i cheated with his girlfriend? and we figured he was probably younger than we originally thought)

me: oh by the way i don't know who you are

richard: seriously? it's richard...i said that in the first text...

me: how did you know my name?

richard: what?

me: do we work together?

richard: we go to the same school, we are in the same marching band we are both in brass, jose ****

(our theory about him being young was correct!)

me: you're freaking me out! are you stalking me?

richard: jose, this is richard ****...

me: ohhh richard! hey man what's up?

richard: nothing. i was just wondering if you could text me when it is 4th quarter?

me: right now

richard: it's 4th quarter right now?

me: yes!!

richard: seriously.

me: i dont know. how should i know?

richard: look at the scoreboard or you could ask someone...

me: where are you?

richard: home

me: why?

richard: because i'm on stadium cleanup

me: aw man that sucks. what are you doing right now?

richard: wondering when fourth quarter is -_-

(yes he really did that little asian looking face)

me: riiiiiiight NOW!

(at this point it's been about 2 hours from when we started talking and richard is taking a long time to text back which makes me believe he's figured out i'm not really jose so i decide to just confuse him a little more)

me: just kidding man this is matt from english

richard: what?

me: i mean john from math

(at this point i know richard is probably confused out of his little mind so i just come clean)

me: i mean a 23 year old girl that has no idea who you are

richard: i apologize, i actually got the wrong number...i feel stupid

(i mess with this kid for hours and he apologizes to me. he must be the nicest kid in the universe!)

me: don't feel stupid. you made my day! sorry i've been messing with you richie!

richard: it's okay

me: hope you found out when 4th quarter was!

richard: thanks

it might be a little sad and pathetic but matt and i had so much fun with this!

we were seriously waiting for him to respond and cracking up while we were thinking of all the things we could say to him.

we kept it pretty calm after we found out he was in junior high or high school but for some reason we still thought everything was hilarious.

best night ever? i think so!

i kinda hope someone else who doesn't know me will text me so we can do it all over again!

sleepy face

i've completely forgotten what sleep feels like.

i know i've had insomnia forever but i haven't slept in days. that's right, DAYS!

i don't know if it's the new medication i'm on or what but it's impossible.

i'm too hot or can't get comfy or something is too bright or Matt sits up to roll over and scares the crap out of me (happened last night) or i have to pee or puppy shakes or i'm constantly thinking or whateverrrrrr.

at least i can download my work at 6:00 AM and get started on it.

i have a feeling the house will be very clean after today because of all the extra time i'm going to have.

and yes, i do wear a chuck norris shirt to sleep in.

oh nikki is so cool!

sketchy

sometimes the hubsy gets in a sketching mood and i love it!

he is such an amazing artist and i love the cute way he draws us.

this time he took pictures from facebook and sketched them out.

these ones were obviously from some of our nerdier pictures and i love it!

we look just like our quirky funny selves!

here's Matt's original picture.

and mine next to the sketch so you can see how amazing he is.

nom nom nom

greatest weekend treat ever!

whoosh blur

holy moly life is crazy right now.

i feel like the days are going by so fast and i can't keep up.

some things that are happening right now...

t-shirts

sharktastic gifts

(thanks Amy!!)

doctors appointment

lab work

puppy haircut

mural painting

sister's night

doctors appointment

two hour lab work

star wars book

and finally....

medicine!!!

hopefully medicine that will make me feel super duper giant amounts better!

for once going to the doctor and doing ridiculous amounts of lab work actually led the doctor to find something wrong with me.

can't wait for the medicine to start working its magic on me.

now if you'll excuse me i have to get back to work and dinner and getting dressed and doing my hair and making a grocery list and ahhhhhhhhhhh!

i need sleep.

star wars PSA

click picture for more amazingness!

stolen/borrowed from howtobeadad

love

stolen/borrowed from howtobeadad

AC dilemma

as if arizona isn't bad enough during the summer we had the privilege of finding out what it would be like to not have AC at all in August.

what fun!

at around 2:00 AM i was feeling extra hot and miserable and i thought i might be sick.

ya know that feeling when you had a fever and it broke and you wake up all sweaty and sticky?

that's exactly how i felt.

and after an hour of feeling that way i finally decided this couldn't just be me feeling sick so i drag myself out of bed to check the thermostat and find it at 85 degrees.

yeah, awesome.

i woke Matt up and he checked the main vent and flipped the breakers and i got a big glass of ice water and grabbed another fan for our room to make it a little less horrible so we could get a couple more hours of sleep.

i was hoping that in the morning the AC would be magically fixed and all would be well but that didn't happen.

Matt went to work and i do what i always do when we have a big problem around our house, call my genius of a father.

he always knows what to do.

so i called him and told him what was going on and he told me he knew of a guy he trusted and would find his number for me.

long story short, the awesome AC repair guy was able to come out within just a few hours and find the problem which turned out to be super simple and cheap to fix.

*enter chorus of angels here*

i only had to deal with the ridiculous heat while i worked for a few hours and with a group of fans pointed at me during that time it really wasn't too terrible.

i even pointed one at Padme because i'm a good mama and i felt so bad for her with all that furriness.

plus Matt was nice enough to come pick me up for lunch so i could cool off for a bit.

he loves me!

now the house is cooling down again and it feels like a dreeeeeam.

so the moral of this story is...

arizona is unbearable during the summer but especially without AC and i'm so beyond glad that our prayers were answered and it was a problem that was easy to fix and didn't cost a katrillion dollars.

amazing quote

"The primary cause of unhappiness is not the situation, but your thoughts about it."

- Eckhart Tolle

decisions

ya know when you're a kid and you think being a grown up is gonna be so awesome?

you'll finally be able to jump on your bed

and eat ice cream before dinner

and watch tv all the time

and drive

and buy things

and play with your food

and stay up late

and have money

and eat whatever you want

and play with your friends

but then when you finally get there you realize that being a grown up SUCKS!

you have to work all the time

and pay bills

and make dinner

and run errands

and clean your house

and you never have money

and don't ever get time to play

and worst of all...you have to make decisions.

when you're a kid decisions are simple.

like do i or do i not take a cookie from the cookie jar.

when you're a grown up it seems like every decision you make is a huge life altering decision that makes your heart race and breathing impossible and panic sets in and you want to kill yourself.

maybe this is just me since i'm the WORST decision maker EVER.

i hate it. loathe it entirely actually.

when i have to make a really difficult decision it makes me wish fortune tellers were real so i could have them look at my hand lines and tell me exactly what i'm suppose to do.

but with my luck my hand lines would probably say something like "ask again later" and then i'd still be screwed.

i also wish pro/con lists actually worked for me.

my lists always say the same things on both sides because i make myself see the good and bad in every point.

i'm sure you can imagine how frustrating that is.

if anyone has a magical decision making machine out there and wants to lend it to me for a couple days that would be swell.

compliment

had my first compliment on my new shark shirt last night!

we were walking through costco and a little boy in the cart in front of us said to his dad "a shark! a shark! a shark in the water!"

which made his dad start looking around saying "what? what are you talking about?" while i gave the kid a little wave and a smile.

i forgive his dad for not realizing that my shirt was the amazingness his kid was reacting to.

thanks for making me feel cool little costco kid.

your love of sharks makes me think you will do great things in life.

shark attire

i have been so crazy busy this week i haven't even had a chance to post about my most favoritest week of all time.

that's right, it's...

is everyone ready for this year's shark week attire?

last year i had the jammies and the shirt, both of which i still wear and love to pieces.

so it would just seem wrong to not keep the shirt making tradition alive.

Matt and i spent all last Saturday making shirts including this guy!

awesome right?

I KNOW!

we used freezer paper to make the stencil instead of using our screen printer since we were only making one shirt.

it didn't come out totally perfect since it was our first time using the freezer paper but i still love it!

quick break down of the process.

we printed the image out on the freezer paper and Matt used his steady hand skillz to cut it out with an x-acto knife.

then you place it veeeeery carefully on the shirt and iron it to stick it down.

then you paint on the fabric paint and try to make sure the freezer paper doesn't pucker so the paint doesn't seep under and mess up the design.

do as many coats as needed.

wait for it to dry then peel off the freezer paper and put a cloth over and iron to seal.

and voila!

then you take a bunch of pictures of yourself with your new sharkie shirt and include your mustache decal on your mirror!

too awesome for words.

HAPPY SHARK WEEK EVERYONE!