Thursday, August 25, 2011

texting richard

so last night i got a text message from a person i do not know.
usually i really hate this because it makes me feel bad that i don't have someone's number in my phone that i'm supposed to and then they're going to be mad at me for not having them in my phone and yadda yadda blah blah.
but this time...this time was different.
the person wrote their name in the first text so i knew for sure i didn't know them and because i'm a mean person deep down inside i decided to play around with them for a little while.
and matt helped because he's equally a mean person deep down inside.
here is our entire conversation.
(asterisks will replace last names so i don't give away any information that i shouldn't)

richard: hey it's richard ****, could you text me when the 4th quarter starts please?
me: no
richard: haha thanks
me: i will if you ask really nicely
richard: jose, will you please please please tell me when the fourth quarter starts, with a cherry on top? i'll give you a high five if you do
me: a high five? that's it?
richard: hows about a hug?
me: little more
richard: i'm scared
me: dont be scared darling
richard: haha isn't that what your girlfriend is for?
me: no that's what i use your girlfriend for
richard: i dont have one anymore remember?
me: did you ever think that maybe that's why?
richard: gasp!
me: i've been trying to find a good time to bring that up. sorry man.
richard: it's okay she's an acceptable loss
(so right now matt and i are thinking what kind of a guy doesn't care that i just told him i cheated with his girlfriend? and we figured he was probably younger than we originally thought)
me: oh by the way i don't know who you are
richard: seriously? it's richard...i said that in the first text...
me: how did you know my name?
richard: what?
me: do we work together?
richard: we go to the same school, we are in the same marching band we are both in brass, jose ****
(our theory about him being young was correct!)
me: you're freaking me out! are you stalking me?
richard: jose, this is richard ****...
me: ohhh richard! hey man what's up?
richard: nothing. i was just wondering if you could text me when it is 4th quarter?
me: right now
richard: it's 4th quarter right now?
me: yes!!
richard: seriously.
me: i dont know. how should i know?
richard: look at the scoreboard or you could ask someone...
me: where are you?
richard: home
me: why?
richard: because i'm on stadium cleanup
me: aw man that sucks. what are you doing right now?
richard: wondering when fourth quarter is -_-
(yes he really did that little asian looking face)
me: riiiiiiight NOW!
(at this point it's been about 2 hours from when we started talking and richard is taking a long time to text back which makes me believe he's figured out i'm not really jose so i decide to just confuse him a little more)
me: just kidding man this is matt from english
richard: what?
me: i mean john from math
(at this point i know richard is probably confused out of his little mind so i just come clean)
me: i mean a 23 year old girl that has no idea who you are
richard: i apologize, i actually got the wrong number...i feel stupid
(i mess with this kid for hours and he apologizes to me. he must be the nicest kid in the universe!)
me: don't feel stupid. you made my day! sorry i've been messing with you richie!
richard: it's okay
me: hope you found out when 4th quarter was!
richard: thanks

it might be a little sad and pathetic but matt and i had so much fun with this!
we were seriously waiting for him to respond and cracking up while we were thinking of all the things we could say to him.
we kept it pretty calm after we found out he was in junior high or high school but for some reason we still thought everything was hilarious.
best night ever? i think so!
i kinda hope someone else who doesn't know me will text me so we can do it all over again!


Post a Comment