i'm gonna be normal

i must say, it's a very strange feeling when you realize your whole world has been turned upside down in just one week.

when you find out not everyone has a sore throat multiple times a month or gets tonsil stones all the time or has tummy aches constantly.

one night last week Matt bought a couple of those water syringes that people use when they get their wisdom teeth out and didn't tell me about it.

i noticed when i got the email confirmation from Amazon and then he called me during his lunch to tell me what he planned to use them for.

what was it?

to stick them in the back of my throat and get rid of my tonsil stones.

yeah, that sounds super fun Matt!

this was before i went to the doctor so i politely told Matt HECK NO because i figured the doc would give me some sort of pill to get rid of them.

turns out, doctors don't really know what tonsil stones are so there's no pill to get rid of them.

that's why Matt made me get out of bed at 11:00 last night so he could gag me with this....

filled with salt water.

he wasn't very successful since i would almost puke after every shot of salty disgustingness but bless his heart for trying.

after about 20 minutes of this i begged him to just scrape the nasty little devils out of my throat with the tip of the syringe but apparently my tongue has a mind of its own and wouldn't let him near them so he passed the syringe to me.

i'll skip all the super disgusting details about what happened next but i will say that i found out the tonsil stone i had back there was a lot bigger than expected.

instead of getting a little pebble sized thing out of my throat i got a clover sized thing.

the image has haunted me ever since.

but immediately after removing it i remembered how it feels to swallow normally.

huh, odd.

so i guess i sort of owe Matt a great big thank you for trying to gag me with a plastic object filled with salt.

in fact, i owe Matt a great big thank you for lots of things he's done this past week.

he's been a real sweetheart.

he's stayed up late researching my new allergies and then stayed up late researching things that could help me with those allergies.

he made me go see the doctor and then the allergist.

he's given me lots of hugs when i get sad after remembering i can't eat my favorite things.

he let's me whine and complain all i want and never gets mad about it.

he told me he's not going to eat anything i'm not allowed to eat because he doesn't want to make me sad.

and he even sat me down last night and told me that this whole allergy nonsense could actually turn out to be a good thing and get some of my other problems under control.

like my tendency to stress 98% of the time and my insomnia.

who knows how much this has effected me without me even knowing it.

so after we talked about that i decided something.

i'm going to get out of pity-party land and move on over to i'm-gonna-get-this-under-control-and-not-be-a-whiney-butt-anymore land.

i have a feeling i'll be much happier in the new land.

and the first thing we decided i need to do is keep a food diary.

right now is a big trial and error time for me so the food diary works like this...

i try a food and decide if it makes me sick or not and then i write it down.

that way i can have a list of foods that i know to stay away from and a list of foods that are ok for me to eat.

so far i've got...

pizza- good

ice cream- bad

chocolate milk- bad

grilled cheese sandwiches- bad

cereal with milk- bad

sandwich with a little bit of cheese- good

as you can see, the bad is heavily outweighing the good.

but i can't let it get me down.

soon i'll be finding a bunch of food that i can still eat and i'll forget about those others.

except for ice cream, i can't forget about ice cream.

i actually told Matt that there might be another list in my food diary of things that are bad for me to eat but i'll sacrifice being sick for.

hopefully i can control myself and that list won't be very long.

but this will be good.

i'll soon know what if feels like to be a normal person instead of being sick all the time.

how very exciting for me!