pushover no more

i did something yesterday that i am immensely proud of!

to understand this story you need to understand one thing, my biggest flaws are that i'm way too nice and caring and want everyone to be happy.

that's a super nice way of putting it.

the real way of putting is i'm a huge pushover.

because i want everyone to be happy, i let people walk all over me and i don't say a word about it.

and like i said in my note to 2012, this is a year for building self esteem which includes standing up for myself when necessary.

okay now on to the story.

so i like to think that people can stay friends with their exes.

i mean, we're adults now and adults know how to move on with their lives.

but sometimes certain exes like to spend every time they talk to you rehashing the details of your past relationship and making you feel like complete trash.

so i was talking to one of those exes yesterday, we'll call him Idiot.

Idiot called me to tell me the story of how his girlfriend broke up with him and apparently since i'm his only friend that's a girl he said he was telling me this story "to get a girl's perspective."

long story short, Idiot's girlfriend cheated on him with her ex boyfriend.

which also happens to be the same exact thing Idiot did to me all those years ago.

so Idiot asks for my opinion and i tell him i'm really not the person he should be talking to about this because that's what he did to me and then he spends the next several minutes reminding me what a complete IDIOT he is.

Idiot tells me that in his mind we were never actually together.

Idiot didn't live in arizona when we first met so our relationship was long distance for a while.

one summer we met up in utah and he rode all the way back to arizona with me and spent every day with me while he was here but he said he didn't think we were together so it was perfectly acceptable to sleep with his ex girlfriend right before i picked him up to take him to the airport to send him home.

then Idiot moved to arizona and we spent all this time together and acted very much like boyfriend and girlfriend but i guess all that time didn't count in his idiot brain either because, again, he slept with his ex girlfriend.

basically he spent several minutes telling me how much i didn't matter to him back then and how much he liked to sleep with his ex girlfriend.

and after hearing all of this i was actually speechless.

i know none of what he said is true, it's just his way of making himself feel better for all the crap he pulled with me.

i was sitting there thinking through all the things i could say to counter all this idiot talk.

reminding him of the times we spent together or the time he called me after i was already married to beg me to leave matt and take him back.

the pushover inside me was telling me to let it go while my new self, the self who has a back bone, was telling me to not take this crap.

so what did i do?

i told him i had to go and just hung up.

then i sent him a text telling him we're not gonna talk anymore because he wasn't good enough to be my boyfriend back then and he's not even good enough to be my friend now.

then that idiot got his number blocked!

BOOYAH!

i'm sure most people will read this and think i'm still a pushover for not yelling at him or giving him a piece of my mind and yeah, i probably should've but i am still so freaking proud of myself for this!

look out world, there's a new Nikki in town!