there's a baby in there

so yesterday, after a day of waking up at 5:30 AM to get to class, then doing a bunch of homework followed by another class i then had to immediately run to the doctor for our fetal anatomy scan. 

so i've already had an entirely full day and i'm exhausted and then do you know how long the scan took??

AN HOUR AND A HALF!! 

an hour and a half of me laying there with an ultrasound tech pushing all over me and making me have to pee! 

and it really wouldn't have been that bad if i could've seen the ultrasound screen but i didn't even get to see it! it was facing away from me the entire time! 

the tech said she couldn't tell me anything that the scan showed except for the gender (still a boy, in case you were wondering!) but i did get her to tell me if the baby is measuring big because that's a gestational diabetes worry but nope! baby is the perfect size so far! 

i think the coolest part of the whole scan was in the first half hour or so i started feeling something funny going on in my tummy and i asked if the baby was moving around a lot or something and the tech told me he was wiggling like crazy. 

I FELT THAT! 

the past couple weeks i've been wondering if i was really feeling baby boy move around or if it was just my tummy growling but this time i definitely knew it was him! and now it's like i can't NOT feel him, ya know? 

I even got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom last night and when i tried to fall back asleep he apparently decided that was the time to throw a major party in my belly! i can only imagine what it's going to be like when he gets bigger! he's already a rambunctious little guy! 

it might sound weird to a lot of people but i feel like that day, after i felt him move for realsies for the first time, it all became very real to me. i feel more connected to this little life growing inside of me. i think for so long i was trying to keep my distance emotionally because it took us so long to get pregnant and even after we got pregnant there were complications and it was a high risk pregnancy. but now, there's a tiny human in there. a tiny human that has tiny fingers and toes. a tiny human that wiggles and squirms and already keeps me up at night. a tiny human that i love so much.